238: Ditch the Dull: Playful Training: Ron Shuali

Kate and Carrie chat with Ron Shuali, an expert in playful and engaging training methods for educators. Ron introduces the concept of "unprofessional development," which focuses on fun and interactive training rather than the usual dull sessions. They discuss the importance of shifting from "should" to "could" to manage expectations and reduce stress.

Ron shares practical tips like incorporating humor, encouraging creativity, and taking breaks. The episode is packed with insights on creating a joyful and effective learning environment. Don't miss Ron's upcoming workshops for more hands-on strategies!

Learn more about Ron Shuali!
www.ronspeaks.com

https://unprofessionaldevelopment.wtf/

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Transcript

Marie 00:00:01  Welcome to Child Care Conversations with Kate and Carrie.

Kate 00:00:06  We are so glad that you are with us today and we have a guest, and I'm trying really hard to not keep laughing, so we're just going to get started. So, Carrie, why don't you start? So we're going.

Carrie 00:00:20  To do some unprofessional development today. So if you know who we have, get really excited. Tell other people they need to go listen to the podcast because we've got Ron, and we're going to do some unprofessional development. He has his dogs in the room with him. So we'll see if they put in an appearance or not. And we're going to talk a little bit about how to have engaging training for your staff so that they actually learn something, because you learn stuff much more quickly through play than any other way. So, Ron, why don't you introduce yourself for those who don't know you? I'm sure there's at least one person listening who hasn't heard of you.

Ron 00:01:08  I hope so. we'll see how it turns out.

Ron 00:01:12  my name is Ron. I created unprofessional development. it's the opposite of boring trainings. I don't like PowerPoint presentations. I would rather sing and breathe and laugh and stretch and move. So, that's what my world is. I first started working with preschoolers in 2001 at a karate school. I then went to a, preschool, being invited to do a martial art program. And then somehow, through the craziness, I developed a system called Behavior Mastery, which is meant to help with the most challenging, ADHD. As in gifted, kids like me who just need to be seen, need to be heard. And a lot of people don't really know what to do with them. So, my role is just joy and happiness and wonderfulness and having fun and being silly and goofy and, helping people understand that sometimes this brain and its programming gets in our way and we have no idea that it's happening. Deep breath in and deep breath out. Oh, I'm not supposed to read the cue cards. I'm sorry.

Kate 00:02:21  I was like, wait a minute. You're stealing Gary's line. Well, Ron, we are so glad that you've joined us for a conversation. And I want to just jump right in to exactly what you just talked about, working with those kids who really? Well, most teachers view them as more challenging than they want to be, even though we love them. What would you tell a teacher or a director who has a teacher who is struggling with that child in their classroom, who's got more energy than they know what to do with?

Ron 00:02:55  Notice when your brain says how they should be. we have voices in our head. Anybody have a voice in their head? A voice that talks at them, evaluates them, judges them, tells them they have at least £1 of weight to lose every time you walk by a mirror. Yeah. So that voice is not there to help you. It's there to keep you safe, but it's not there to help you. And what we've been taught, what I was taught before, I kind of unlocked my brain from the matrix with different things.

Ron 00:03:23  Is that just because your brain says something doesn't mean you have to agree with it? So one thing that we do is we create expectations so our brain sees the kids in circle time, and then one kid rolls over on their belly and they go like this, and their feet are wiggling back and forth because that's what their body told them to do. It's not like they're sitting there going, what? I feel like doing it just they just do it. It's an impulse. Their body knows what to do to reregulate and to move around and whatever it is, our brains are programmed to go, that child should. And then we make up a story in our head about how we think something's supposed to be. We're right about it. Our brain sends a message to the body. We get a shot of dopamine. We feel good for a second, but that child is just listening. That child is following directions. They're not doing anything wrong. But we get to be right. So what I do is I have teachers understand.

Ron 00:04:13  The second that you feel any way other than I love my kids, I'm playing with kids. I get to do this, I get to go. I get to whatever. Anytime you feel any way other than happy and join this, notice what expectation you created. And notice that when you say should, he should be this way. She should be this way, my co-teacher should be this way. What you're doing is you're shooting all over them. Should show you you're creating an expectation externally, outside of your brain where the expectation was only created here. So for example, do do one of you have an excerpt? My my my English is wonderful. Good. I are a professional speaker. does either one of you have an expectation for another human?

Carrie 00:05:01  Absolutely. Yes.

Ron 00:05:02  Okay. So. So I want to show you an example of how to free your brain a little bit. So one of you or both of you think about right now a human being, the other person. Think about a human being in your life that you have an expectation for.

Ron 00:05:16  Got them in your brain. Yep. Okay. Now I want you out loud. And whoever wants to go first, you have a nice. Off and see who wants to go first. Whoever wants to go first. All I want you to do is say this person's first name or their pronoun. So Bobby or he or she, whatever should. And then the expectation you have for them. Super simple. Name or pronoun should. And the expectation you have. Who's going first?

Kate 00:05:43  Carrie.

Ron 00:05:44  Okay. Awesome. Good for you, Carrie.

Carrie 00:05:46  So, she should keep her dogs under control.

Ron 00:05:52  Great. Okay, so let's pause and let's notice how we feel. And what do you feel in your chest? Do you feel that pressing down sensation like I feel?

Carrie 00:06:01  A little bit, yeah.

Ron 00:06:02  A little bit. Okay. It's weird. Ever since I did my Reiki training, I could feel what other people are feeling. It's really cool. Magic is real people. I'm totally telling you, I'm a wizard.

Ron 00:06:09  It's awesome. So now all I want you to do is say the same exact sentence, but take out the word should and put the word could in there out loud. Ready? Set. Go.

Carrie 00:06:19  She could keep her dogs under control.

Ron 00:06:22  Now what do you feel?

Carrie 00:06:23  Smile.

Ron 00:06:24  You notice that you're trying to fight it. I see you try. You notice that? Did you feel that lift off your chest? Yeah. Okay. What feels better? The first one or the second one? You know. Optometrist. Number one. Number two. Number one. Which one?

Carrie 00:06:36  Number two.

Ron 00:06:38  Number two. Okay, cool. Kate. Your turn.

Carrie 00:06:41  She's hiding. Kate is.

Ron 00:06:42  Hiding. Good. Let her hide. I don't care. It's your podcast. You can do whatever you want. Kate say the expectation.

Kate 00:06:48  She should get off her phone and do her work.

Ron 00:06:53  Okay. Good enough. Feel it. And in 1 or 2 words describe what you feel right now.

Kate 00:06:57  Frustrated.

Ron 00:06:59  Beautiful.

Ron 00:06:59  Say the words again. Take out the word. Should. Put the word could in there.

Kate 00:07:03  She could get off her phone and get to work.

Ron 00:07:08  How? How nice, how nice was that? Right around this area.

Kate 00:07:11  That was a huge difference. Yeah, you can definitely feel the difference. So those of you who are listening and aren't watching, basically, you know, the chest gets all constricted, or at least it did for me when I was into the shoulds and a little more relaxed when I was in the could. And I could definitely feel the difference, but I had to pay attention.

Ron 00:07:31  Beautiful. So this is what I offered everybody that's listening. Everyone that's watching. Try that and just consider when you say could carry. When you said could Kate. When you said could you feel that relief, that lightness that you feel is when you released yourself of the expectation that you create for this person. And the day that you looked at that person in your brain said words to you, well, she shouldn't be laying down on the couch.

Ron 00:08:01  She should be blah, blah. You ever know somebody in the life you walk in? This person is resting and your brain starts talking at you and instead of going to your brain, shut up! You ask your heart what to do and your heart goes. Go and see if they want to drink. Do they want a blanket? And that love just resonates from the other person. Your brain goes they should be and they make a list. And then you say something and that relationship is ruined because that's how it is. Because your brain talks at you and your brain shoulds all over you should hold. So if that sensation that you feel, if you still have that lightness, you took off a £20 bag of rocks off your shoulders. And at any point when you want to have yourself another pity party, you can just look at that person. You can put that expectation on them. It bounces off them because it's not really them. And then you can just put that £20 bag of rocks back on and walk around shooting all over yourself, and you can then feel bad and get dopamine and no access to joy.

Ron 00:08:58  But what I want teachers to do, and to realize anytime you feel any way that you don't want to stop. Be nice to yourself. Nice. And notice when you feel any way you don't want to feel. If you've got preschoolers, if you're on the floor with babies and you're not laughing and smiling and joyous, there's something going on in your brain. Nothing wrong with it. Notice when you feel any way you don't want to feel the I and nice investigate. What expectation did I create? What expectation did I say this person? Should that person should you? Right. And then the C and the E in being nice is change the expectation from A should to a good. I do this a lot anytime traffic should be this way, the light should be this way, my pay should be this way, blah blah blah. Anytime I feel any way I don't want to, I'm like wow, I, I wow, I just, I should all well it could be a better movie. The people in front of me could have their phones off instead of blinding me, I could say.

Ron 00:09:54  It's just it's a different way. One is strenuous and rough and takes a toll on you, and the other one just frees you over and over. Did I answer your question?

Carrie 00:10:04  Absolutely. I mean, I think if if we could empower our staff to do it with the kids, that would be great. But also empowering the directors to do it with their staff because they shouldn't be calling out, they could be allowed out.

Ron 00:10:27  Well, I mean, I mean, how many, how many directors their brain goes, they should want to stay after 6:00 to help me. They should want to come in. Any director that creates any expectation that any person underneath them has the same commitment to that school. They're just setting up expectations left, right, up and down. When this person just wants to go home Instead of just, you know, it's just nuts. And then they act differently towards that person. Like how many directors have a parent that always shows up late with a hot cup of coffee because they stopped at the drive thru, but their brain goes, they should be on time, blah blah blah.

Ron 00:11:06  But their their brain instead of go. But if I teach them how to open up their heart and go, I wonder what kind of day they had that they needed this cup of coffee. So they don't they don't maybe flip out on their kid, you know, and on the ride home, you know, after working 28 hours and then now you don't get to defrag at all. So it's just a way to release our brain of all this heaviness that we put on ourselves. And it's a lot of work because we've been doing a long time of putting all this stress on ourselves. It's practice. Just practice. Be nice, be nice, be nice. Okay. Bubble my mouth.

Kate 00:11:37  That's okay. Because I'm thinking, I think we got enough. We're done. No, I'm just kidding.

Ron 00:11:42  I'll see you for round two through seven. I guess we're doing a ten part series.

Kate 00:11:47  So, Ron, I know you have online classes. I know you do workshops across the country. Do you have anything coming up? So this will probably come out in February.

Kate 00:11:59  Do you have anything happening in March or February, late February that you would love to have people jump on to get to know more? Because I'm excited and I think anybody who's probably ever heard you probably left that session with at least one index card or post-it note full of notes. what would you want to tell people to, to, to do?

Ron 00:12:23  I'm going to be at the National Head Start Association conference, in May in Columbus, Ohio. Ohio. There you go. And, I don't know. My calendar is crazy. It's nutty, but, I'm I'm always, always looking to help people. And, if people can handle unprofessional and, and and my my craziness, then it can make an impact. But, all the stuff that we do, and Nobody has to wait to see me live too. We have all these online courses that are incredible, and I show videos and we do stretching and breath work. Nothing boring. and I do tons of virtual trainings as well.

Kate 00:13:01  Absolutely. And we will have all of Ron's information in the show notes.

Kate 00:13:05  Kerry, I'm sure you have at least one other tip you'd love to have Ron share with us about that. We could help our directors with what questions running through your head.

Carrie 00:13:15  So if there were if somebody who's listening today is feeling stressed out and they feel like they're about to bust out of their skin, what is one thing that Ron would have them do if they were right in front of you? And you could just see the the stress and that they were trying to bust out of their skin. What's one thing you'd have them do?

Ron 00:13:38  Okay. And I want you to to also do this with the people listening. I'm going to give you a question that I want you to ask yourself in your brain. And that's all I want you to do. And then after you do it, I'm going to ask you, like how it went or what happened. So ready. Here's the question I want you to ask yourself in your brain. I wonder what my next thought will be. I wonder what my next thought will be.

Ron 00:14:05  What happened?

Carrie 00:14:06  Baby tigers.

Ron 00:14:08  Okay, Kate, what happened for you?

Kate 00:14:10  I had to get a pencil and write it down.

Ron 00:14:13  Okay, so so so ready. Ask yourself right now. Ready? You ask yourself right now. I wonder what my next thought would be. Okay. What happened?

Kate 00:14:21  I decided to not think about anything, which doesn't happen very often.

Ron 00:14:26  Okay, so. So it's beautiful that you think you decided that I love it. That's powerful. so most people carry most people. When I say that, I see a rows of blank faces because the brain just shuts off. Because wonder is not the brains department. The brains department is keeping you safe, being right, keeping others wrong, all that stuff that runs us, bathroom, breathing, all that stuff apart is where wonder exists. So when you say to yourself and maybe try another time, maybe when you're not like under the pressure of of whatever the podcast. But when you asked yourself, I wonder what my next thought will be? It just for me, for a lot of people, it just goes blank and there you get to have that one second of a fresh start to take a breath, to go on your phone.

Ron 00:15:20  I pull up silly videos of, crazy, like, golden retriever sledding down hills, pandas falling down trees. Just. I have these videos on my YouTube that no matter what, I was just thinking somebody said something at TSA and one of these TSA agents trying to bla bla bla bla bla. I can choose to be upset for the next four hours. Or I can say to myself, I wonder what my next thought will be. And then that fight, flight, freeze or fawn shuts off. I automatically take a breath or two and then I go on my phone. I have so much Netflix saved. I have so many podcasts. I have so many, you know.

Carrie 00:15:55  So I think for me, the the word wonder kicked me into something that I saw earlier today. Like I woke up with the thought, I would like to see baby tigers in a zoo. Like, I woke up with that thought process and then went and was looking at where I could maybe do that and saw all these videos of baby tigers gambling and chasing their mama tigers.

Carrie 00:16:21  And it was just it was wonderful. It was good. It was amazing.

Ron 00:16:26  I, I love it, I, I wish my brain went to baby tigers every time I wonder. They're so cute. we were just at the headstart conference. We went to the San Diego Zoo over there and it was awesome. We got two carts paid 60 bucks apiece. Everybody's walking exhausted.

Ron 00:16:41  We're whip around.

Ron 00:16:44  Everybody was awesome. And then the fog attacked us.

Kate 00:16:49  Well, you know, it was San Diego. So.

Carrie 00:16:52  Yeah, the the most recent baby tigers in a zoo in the United States are in Minneapolis. And I'm not going to Minneapolis in January. But I imagine the Tigers are having a great time in Texas.

Ron 00:17:05  You know, it isn't every other lake house have a tiger?

Carrie 00:17:09  it's possible. I mean, we don't really have much in the way of laws about tigers in Texas. which is a problem.

Ron 00:17:17  You have laws in Texas? I thought it was like here in Florida.

Carrie 00:17:20  No, we have lots suggestions.

Ron 00:17:23  Yeah.

Carrie 00:17:23  No, we have lots. actually, one of my high school best friends. Her next, they lived in a duplex, and the other half of the duplex had two tigers. And, you know, maybe they had. Maybe you should.

Ron 00:17:36  Go back there. You should go back there and knock. You got the Supergirl curl going. You should just go there and just knock on the door and be like, I want baby tigers. was as loud as a.

Carrie 00:17:47  While since I was in high school, so I doubt if there's tigers or babies anymore.

Ron 00:17:53  Do you notice how the brain just sabotages? My brain goes. There's probably like six baby tigers there right now, just waiting to be pet. So. But that's. There you go. You never know.

Carrie 00:18:04  I did have the thought like there. I am sure there is some natural, some reserve or some, you know, place where you can pay a hundred bucks and you get to pet a tiger. I don't want that.

Carrie 00:18:13  I want a place where the tigers are being well cared for. So that's how, you know.

Ron 00:18:18  Like, how do you know they're not being well cared for and you can pay 100 bucks?

Carrie 00:18:23  I don't, but I did watch Tiger King. And so I have a suspicion.

Ron 00:18:28  I mean, listen, if you watch a show on Netflix, that definitely explains everything. You know.

Carrie 00:18:33  I said a.

Carrie 00:18:34  Suspicion, not a certainty.

Ron 00:18:36  I'm sorry, I, I love game shows. I'm watching this documentary called Squid Game, so it's really interesting.

Carrie 00:18:43  I hear they're only they're not having another season.

Ron 00:18:48  Oh, they are somewhere. I probably yeah, they probably are. It's based on a real thing. It's crazy I don't know. Well, listen, let's not get the the podcast.

Carrie 00:18:57  Okay.

Carrie 00:18:58  So, guys, we want you to have training that goes down fun rabbit holes with the group. so that Ron definitely showed us what two people with ADHD on a podcast can do. and we can chase all kinds of rabbits.

Carrie 00:19:17  Maybe three, I don't know. Kate hasn't owned up to hers. We'll see. maybe she does. Maybe she doesn't. But what we really want to do is tell you to stop shooting all over yourself. Take a little bit of time to reset your brain and have fun. When you're working with the kids, with the staff, with the parents. And if you're not finding that joy. Take some time to recalibrate the brain and definitely follow up with Ron and see him at other events. Anything else? Kate?

Kate 00:19:55  Well, if you enjoyed the show, make sure that you share it with somebody who should who should know? Who could know? There we go. Who could know? You did it. What we do. And we are excited to have Ron. If you want more information about Ron, all of his information will be in our show notes. And we are excited. We'll probably have run back because that was just a little too much fun and we didn't get very far. But have a wonderful week and we will talk to everybody later.

Marie 00:20:26  Thank you for listening to Child Care Conversations with Kate and Carrie. Want to learn more? Check out our website at Texas Director. And if you've learned anything today. Leave us a comment below and share the show.